New Tape: Bin Laden Calls Insurgents ‘Pack of Sissies’

By Scott Ott:

2007-10-23) — In a newly-released audiotape, al Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden spoke directly to Muslim insurgents in Iraq, calling them “a pack of sniveling sissies for collapsing in the face of the recent U.S. military surge.”

“When I see how you cower,” Mr. Bin Laden said, “I’m ashamed to wear the flowing robe of Muslim boldness and the fierce, yet festive, headdress of a jihadi. I have wives who are braver than you…several of them.”

The al Qaeda mastermind noted that his own “courageous concealment” has stymied U.S. attempts to kill or capture him, while he ridiculed al Qaeda in Iraq fighters as “pathetic little pigs trembling at the voice of the big bad American wolf.”

“Why don’t you all shave off your beards,” he asked rhetorically, “and apply a nice cucumber-scented moisturizer to your smooth, hairless faces? You don’t deserve to enjoy the glory of the coming Muslim caliphate. You’re not worthy to lick the drippings from the wall of my cave.”