David Burge destroys the Ivy Presidents

Fun facts:

(A) calling for genocide against Jews, if not delivered to incite a mob to violence, is 100% Constitutionally protected speech- only in the sense it can't be punished by government.

(B) You are not the government, you are a cowardly college administrator and in no… https://t.co/1MYvTm5gz0

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) December 7, 2023

Identify a respected institution. 2. kill it. 3. gut it. 4. wear its carcass as a skin suit, while demanding respect.

David Burge@iowahawkblog

1. Identify a respected institution.
2. kill it.
3. gut it.
4. wear its carcass as a skin suit, while demanding respect.#lefties

9:39 AM - Nov 10, 2015

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From Ace of Spades:

It is the common practice of Social Justice Warriors to infiltrate organizations and hobbies in which they have little to no interest -- videogames, comic books, sports, science-fiction awards organizations, all academic fields, etc. -- for the sole purpose of seizing "key nodes and critical infrastructure," as Diversity and Comics notes (echoing US military doctrine), in order to turn non-political pastimes into never-ending propaganda echo chambers -- or destroy them outright, if they cannot be made to serve the regressive left's propaganda mission.

They're deadly parasites for any organization that allows them to crawl inside their bodies.

But these organizations let them in -- hell, they actively seek them out -- just so that social justice blogs and websites like The Mary Sue or Buzzfeed will give them the Social Justice Warrior Stamp of Approval.

Trouble is, as Marvel Comics is finding out, Social Justice Warriors are not consumers of any of these products, and will not buy them even if they have been converted into full Social Justice Warrior propaganda outfits.

These organizations are being infiltrated by Social Justice Warriors not because Social Justice Warriors like them or the cultural products they produce, but because Social Justice Warriors know that non- Social Justice Warriors enjoy these products, and thus these cultural artifacts must be seized and repurposed to serve leftist indoctrination ends or simply destroyed.

If they cannot be remade to be useful indoctrination centers, then they must be destroyed, so that, at least, non-Social Justice Warriors will have one less enjoyable thing in their lives, and may be forced to seek Social Justice Warrior-controlled entertainments as an alternative.

Iowahawk: Heart of Redness

DAY ONE: BASE CAMP, IOWA CITY

Mission: bring back Von Drehle.

The words echo in my mind as I peer out the frost-framed window of 'Pretense,' a moderately priced new-American bistro on the edge of campus. My eyes follow clusters of students, shoulders hunched against the cold, criss-crossing the snowy Pentacrest like the exasperating strokes of a de Koonig canvas.

We all have a mission, I thought. For those faceless students: diversity seminars, Nam Jun Paik film retrospectives at the Union, maybe Dollar Pitcher Nite at the Airliner. For me: Von Drehle.

It - or rather, he - is the mission that has brought me to this dismal and lonely outpost on the edge of reason. Tomorrow I will make the dangerous trek north on Dubuque Street to Exit 242, merge into the river of semi-trailers on Interstate 80, and head west into the great red unknown between here and Boulder.

Read the whole thing.

Top Scientists Warn: Sea Gods Angry

This never gets old.

Washington, DC - Pointing to the devastating weekend Indian Ocean tsunami that left over 24,000 dead, an international blue ribbon committee of climatologists and ecoscientists today issued a stark warning that man-made pollutants have increasingly "make water spirits angry."

The blunt conclusion prefaced a 2300 page meta-analysis of hundreds of scientific studies and computer models detailing links between human industrial activity and wrathful eco-deities. Entitled "Fire Bad: Fire Very Bad," the report warns that the planet faces additional catastrophies unless drastic regulatory action is taken to appease Earthen-furies.

"Unclean money devils anger sacred water spirit Tai-Waku," explained Martin Knudson of Scripps Oceanic Institute. "He now call angry to son the whale, 'make slap with anger-tails! Bring vengeance-surf to villagers!'"

While most empirical evidence supports the theory of wrathful whale-tail slappings, some scientists are exploring alternative hypotheses for the weekend tsunami. Ecobiologist Jane Geary of UC Santa Cruz points to mounting evidence that the ocean spirit-world may have been driven to gastrointestinal rage by gas-guzzling SUVs.

"Thunder-wagon make smoke cloud of greenhouse gas," explained Geary. "hungry Tai-Waku eat smoke from thunder-wagon, pass giant wind with mighty fury."

Peter Novak, chief science officer of the Sierra Club, dismissed Geary's "Divine Fart" theory, arguing it was more likely that SUVs had triggered the tsunami via a spirit underword sexual encounter.

"Wheels of thunder-wagons wake up Big Earth Spirit-Mother, make to crazy tingle in hairy child-place. She now go to water lair of Tai-Waku, make big angry love on tectonic plate," said Novak. "Big Earth Spirit-Mother say, 'if ocean rocking, don't come a-knocking.'"

Although they disagree on the precise causes of the wrathful spirit world, scientists were largely unanimous in recommending immediate global regulatory action. Remedial steps suggested in the report include ratification of the Kyoto treaty, elimination of automobiles, volcanic altars for virgin sacrifices, creation of a sustainable urine-based economy, and improved faculty dental benefits.

"If not act now, it too late," said report editor Paul Erlich of Stanford University.

Erlich, whose 1978 best seller "Ice Time Come Soon" is widely credited with saving millions of lives by warning of the massive age of glaciation that threatened Earth during the 1980s, said inaction might anger the spirit world further.

"Me not know when Tai-Waku make wrath again," said Erlich. "Me need more grant money."

A Special Message from Teleprompter XD-235.

A Special Message from Barack Obama's TelePrompter

No matter how low your opinion of Washington DC, it's nothing compared to Washington DC's low opinion of you.

David Burge‏@iowahawkblog

No matter how low your opinion of Washington DC, it's nothing compared to Washington DC's low opinion of you.

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4:36 PM - 25 Jun 2015

Holy shit

Holy shit, literally MT @anjemchoudary how we go to the toilet & even in which direction we relieve ourselves, must be based on revelation
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 8, 2015

Are all people in the media criminals or just most of them?

Iowahawk does the research:

A Denver newspaper columnist is arrested for stalking a story subject. In Cincinnati, a television reporter is arrested on charges of child molestation. A North Carolina newspaper reporter is arrested for harassing a local woman. A drunken Chicago Sun-Times columnist and editorial board member is arrested for wife beating. A Baltimore newspaper editor is arrested for threatening neighbors with a shotgun. In Florida, one TV reporter is arrested for DUI, while another is charged with carrying a gun into a high school. A Philadelphia news anchorwoman goes on a violent drunken rampage, assaulting a police officer. In England, a newspaper columnist is arrested for killing her elderly aunt.Unrelated incidents, or mounting evidence of that America's newsrooms have become a breeding ground for murderous, drunk, gun-wielding child molesters? Answers are elusive, but the ever-increasing toll of violent crimes committed by journalists has led some experts to warn that without programs for intensive mental health care, the nation faces a potential bloodbath at the hands of psychopathic media vets."These people could snap at any minute," says James Treacher of the Treacher Institute for Journalist Studies. "We need to get them the help and medication they need before it's too late.

Don't believe me?  Check the graph, it's science.  You don't want to be a science denier do you?
 

Despite of the ever-growing and bloody toll of victims of media-related crimes, some observers counsel against jumping to conclusions. Among the defenders is University of Tennessee law professor Glenn Reynolds.

"I think it's unfair to single out journalists as thieves, or violent, or drunks, or child abusers," says Reynolds. "Sometimes they're all of the above."

Read the whole thing.

The second Obama Term

World chaos was not supposed to be on the midterm. #unfair
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 21, 2014

Obama eulogizes Armstrong

When I learned of the untimely passing of Neil Armstrong I was, like all Americans, deeply moved and saddened. I share your sense of loss for this American hero, even if his fame had been eclipsed by others over the years. But in our shared moment of grief, let us also celebrate his historic accomplishment in becoming the first astronaut eulogized by me, Barack Obama, our nation's historic first African-American president.

Neil's passing gives all of us all pause to consider deeper questions. What does it mean for the future of space exploration? How proud would Neil have been to have a famous historic president refer to him by first name? And, most importantly, how did his death inspire that historic president to make ever more gigantic leaps for mankind?

 

Read the whole thing.

PLANS FOR A GAY KISS-IN AT CHICK-FIL-A.

IowaHawk comments: “Lesbians making out *and* chicken sandwiches? Is this heaven?”

Via Instapundit.

You Didn't Build That. Readings from the Book of Barack

Iowahawk

¹ In the beginning Govt created the heavens and the earth. ² Now the economy was formless and void, darkness was over the surface of the ATMs, and the Spirit of Govt was hovering over the land.

³ And Govt said, “Let there be spending,” and there was spending. ⁴ Govt saw that the spending was good, and that it separated the light from the darkness. ⁵ Govt called the spending Investments, and this he did in the first day.


⁶ Then Govt said, “Let there be roads and bridges across the waters, and let dams divide the waters from the waters.” ⁷ Thus Govt made the infrastructure and the patronage jobs for eternity under the firmament from the Potomac which was above the firmament; and it was so. ⁸ And Govt called the firmament Washington. This Govt did on the second day.


⁹ Then Govt said, “Let the regulations and the guidlines under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the Bureaus appear”; and it was so. ¹⁰ And Govt called the Bureaus demigovts, and the gathering together of them He called AFSCME. And Govt saw that it was good.


¹¹ Then Govt said, “Let there be police, and firefighters, and teachers according to their kind, for they will create more jobs”; and it was so. ¹² And then Govt bade the void bring forth crime, and arson, and stupidity, that each would yield seed to bring forth more police, and firefighters, and teachers, and jobs. And Govt saw that it was good. ¹³ So the evening and the morning were the third day.


¹⁴ On the fourth day Govt said, “Let Us make the economy in Our image, according to Our likeness; let it have dominion over the cars of the road, over the appliances of the supercenters, and over the pet groomers of the strip malls, over all the clickthroughs of Amazon and over every creepy thing of the Dollar Stores.” ¹⁵ So Govt created the economy in His own image; services and wholesale and retail He created them. ¹⁶ Then Govt blessed them, and Govt said to them, “Be fruitful and use the multiplier effect; fill the land with jobs; thou have dominion over thy realm, within limits, as long and thou remember to get thy permits and tithe thy taxes, for they are good. Hope to see you at the fundraiser.”

Read the rest of this Sunday's lesson from the Book of Barack.

DNC Scientists Disprove Existence of Roberts' Taxon

Iowahawk enters the world of subatomicshit to explain what just happened.

In order to disprove the Taxon, scientists at the HSWC devised a test experiment in their enormous CarneyLab bullshit accelerator. This test involved speeding a small mass of Facton - theoretically containing Roberts' Taxon - and smashing it at near-light speed against a flaming super-dense ionized clod of purified bullshit.

Have him explain what Taxon, Facton and other things that are impossible to comprehend outside the beltway by reading the whole thing.

Look a squirrel!

One Afternoon In a Garage in Reno, Nevada

Good afternoon! Hello, residents of Whispering Hills subdivision! Thank you for that fine reception. How's everybody doin' out there?

Now that's what I call spirit - Reno spirit. American spirit! Yessir, what you folks might lack in numbers, you make up for in enthusiasm. Just like Reno is the 'Biggest Little City in the USA,' I've gotta say you folks are the Biggest Little Garage Sale Crowd in Reno this afternoon. So give yourself a Biggest Little Hand!

Yeah! Alrigh-yi-yi-YI YI YI YI YI YI YIIGH SQUEEEEECH

Oh, uh, sorry about that. Billy, can we bring down the EQ on the driveway monitor? I'm getting some nasty feedback here. Okay. Check. Check. Pop. Poppop. Check check, testingggg one two. Okay, I think we got that.

Okay! As I was about to say, it's no accident I'm here today at the Kellers. You all know Paul and Val here as great neighbors, the kind of hardworking friendly neighbors any neighborhood in America would want. And as President of the United States neighborhood, I've worked tirelessly to make sure that neighbors like Pal and Vaul have the financial support they need to stay right here in Whispering Hills.

Yeah! Sure, you can applaud! Come on, give it up for the Kohlers!

Another Iowahawk classic.  Read the whole thing.

The continuing adventures of Barack Obama's favorite eyeless, mouthless government dependent

Fun with Iowahawk. The Obama campaign keeps serving them up and the Right keeps hitting them out of the park.  Read the whole thing.

Hi Neighbor! Special Guest Commentary by the Sarah Palin Homunculus that Lives Inside Liberals' Heads

Iowahawk  does it again!

Oh hi there! I was out shooting caribou on the Arctic Cat and saw your synapse lights on, and so I said to myself, "now, gosh darn it, Sarah, you've been living inside this nice person's cerebral cortex for, what is it, almost two years now? By golly, it's about time you dropped in at their frontal lobe with a plate of your famous homemade Alaska welcome wagon cookies and introduced yourself." So anyhoo, I sure hope you like 'em. Don't want to give out a family recipe, but the secret ingredient is baby seal. I clubbed 'em fresh this morning!

Oh my goodness... you look kind of confused. I get that a lot! You were probably thinking, "hey, I only wanted to move next door to Sarah Palin -- now what in the goshdarned heck is she doing inside my brain?" Well ya see, the deal is I'm not Sarah, but boy I gotta tell ya, we sure do get mistaken all the time! No, I'm just a plain ol' homunculus Sarah Palin that your own id created to sublimate your deep-seated psychosexual neuroses. Or so those egghead books say, anyway. But if you ask me that sure sounds like a lot of elite Anti-America liberal professor gobbledegook! By the way, your id says hi.

Read the rest, especially this part:

Now where were we? Oh yes, Tina Fey. Now, just the other day Tina... umm... is everything all right? I mean, you have the strangest look in your subthalamus. Oh...! Oh, this. The bikini. Funniest thing. Turns out once I'm inside a liberal's head, It's like poof! Off with the clothes. I tell ya, it's gotten to the point that I really don't even notice it anymore. No, don't be embarrassed or ashamed, most of your friends don't even give me the bikini.

One of the most popular blog posts I ever wrote had the headline: Sarah Palin Naked. Liberals are still coming here looking for it.

With Apologies to Allan Sherman

Iowahawk

Hello Faddah
Hello Mama
I'm Occupying
Camp Obama
I'm protesting
Wall Street grabbings
And trying to avoid the hobo stabbings


On my iPhone
With my last tweet
I down-twinkled
Jews on Wall Street
Please don't worry
About psychosis
'Cause my Guy Fawkes mask repels tuberculosis

Default, Dear Brutus, Is Not In Our Stars, But In Ourselves

From Iowahawk:

August 2 is but a few days away, and you know what that means: I need to buy mom a birthday card. Also THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE BUDGETARY MELTDOWN END DAYS WHERE WE FACE FINAL ARMAGEDDON UNLESS WASHINGTON GETS ITS BAR TAB RAISED ANOTHER TRILLION. Or something.

What is the outcome if the debt ceiling isn't raised? It's too horrible to contemplate:

Cowboy poetry utterly lacking in metre.

General Motors unfairly forced to build cars that people want, for a profit.

Chaos reigns at Goldman Sachs, who no longer knows who to bribe with political donations.

Mankind's dream of high speed government rail service between Chicago and Iowa City tragically dies.

Chevy Volt rebate checks bounce, stranded owners more than 50 miles from outlet.

Read the whole thing.

Who are these "those who say"?

Iowahawk has a number of Twitter questions that Obama never got around to. 

An $8 billion high speed train leaves Chicago for Iowa City at 8:15am at 40mph. Why?

Read the others.