Ocasio-Cortez: 'Everyone's Pay Should Be Equal, But My Pay Should Be More Equal Than Others''

Donkey Chompers

From the Babylon Bee (satire, but is it really?)

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Speaking to reporters after coming out in support of pay raises for herself and her fellow congresspeople, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said she believes everyone's pay should be equal, but that her and her colleagues' pay should be "more equal" than everybody else's.

"I campaigned on equality and lifting up the poor and bringing down the rich," she said. "But after a few months in Washington, it's clear to me now that we need to shift my campaign rhetoric a bit."

She then held up a chart that had her core values on it and crossed out "Everyone's pay should be equal" and replaced it with "Everyone's pay should be equal, but my pay should be more equal than others.'" The representative began leading her supporters gathered in a chant: "Regular Americans good, politicians better! Regular Americans good, politicians better!"

And the reporters looked from Ocasio-Cortez to the other corrupt politicians nearby, and from the other politicians to Ocasio-Cortez again, but already it was impossible to say which was which.