Learn To Play By The Rules Of Politics So Democrats Can Destroy The Country

Satire by Andrew Klavan:

If there’s one thing that’s important for every American to know, it’s how to play by the rules of politics. Playing by the rules allows you to maintain an atmosphere of civility and dignity while the Democrats run roughshod over every norm of behavior and destroy everything good and true about America.

So let’s learn some of the rules.

When someone completely unassociated with Donald Trump produces a video in which Trump shoots his enemies in the Democrat Party and the media, it proves that Trump is degrading public discourse and inspiring violence.

When a sportswear company puts an enormous billboard in Times Square showing a woman tying Trump up and stomping on the president’s face, then it’s time to buy some new sportswear.

When Arizona’s lady Governor Jan Brewer pointed a finger at President Barack Obama and told him she needed some border security, that was called “Fingergate” and was an example of Brewer’s racist disrespect for our first black president – who, did I mention, was black?

When House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stuck out her finger at Donald Trump, that was an example of feminist independence and courage and time to buy some new sportswear and stomp on the president’s face.

When Barack Obama’s Justice Department and Intelligence Agencies spied on the opposing party’s campaign, that was our heroic deep state protecting Americans from their incorrect decisions.

When Donald Trump suggested Ukraine examine corruption that might include opposition candidate Joe Biden, that was worse than Watergate in which a president spied on the opposing party like Barack Obama did to Trump.

Finally, when the news media lie and distort in order to support a deep state coup, that’s freedom of speech. When Americans speak out freely against the media’s corruption, that endangers the First Amendment.

You must follow these rules carefully or else you could wake up and find yourself telling a power-obsessed bunch of baby-killing Communist Democrats and media to kiss your butt and then go straight to hell.

And we wouldn’t want that.