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Saturday, May 02, 2009

Gail Collins Covers for the Veep

Gail Collins writes an opinion column for the NY Times, which tells you something right away.

With the unique gift that Times writers are known for, she manages to do a reverse Rumpelstilskin, turning gold into straw. Having been given political and comedy gold by the over-the-top fear mongering of Vice President Biden over the swine flu, she manages to write a column that is at once fawning, protective, snippy and dull.

I’m fairly sure it’s in their contract that all NY Times writers are required to attribute omnipotence to Barack Obama. In this case, she attributes whatever happens to the American people with regard to the flu as the result of Obama action.
As the new strain of flu spread around the country, you could imagine the president going over a mental to-do list: Monitor situation carefully. Check. Make sure the medical infrastructure is working to prepare for any worst-case scenario. Check.
I don’t know about you, but I had no idea that Barack Obama had any impact on my getting or not getting the flue. “Monitor the situation carefully?” Is that the same as watch what’s going on? Is that supposed to make me feel better? Scratch that, it you are an Obama voter or a writer for the NY Times (but I repeat myself) that does make you feel better. And that part about making sure the medical infrastructure is working, how does that work again? What does that even mean? If I get the flu I’ll call my doctor. He’ll be there at the other end of the phone and he’ll either tell me to to come in or prescribe bed rest and aspirin. That’s the medical infrastructure for most of the people in the country. Did Obama do something to change that? I know he wants to but did he actually do that in this case?

Getting to the hysterical Biden, she opines that
“Biden, channeling his Average Joe, was superworried… Give Biden some credit. Who can deny his right to be immobilized with worry? In fact, one recent survey of 1,039 physicians showed that 63 percent believed “that there is some level of risk that the swine flu will result in a worldwide catastrophic pandemic.” … No politician wants to be caught pooh-poohing a disastrous possibility, no matter what the odds.

So “Average Joe” Biden (at other times know as the smartest guy in the room) was only expressing the concern that every other “Joe Lunchbucket” was feeling. Except that he is not. The kind of hysterical overreaction Biden chose to put on the air was surely not the belief of millions of people who took subways, trains, planes, elevators and all other means of public transportation. Things that “Average Joe” Biden said he was telling his family to avoid. There must be some sort of middle ground between "pooh-poohing" the dangers of the flu and telling people to go into quarantine. But perhaps that is a nuanced position not found by Ms. Collins.

Along the way she can't avoid taking the obligatory swipe at Republicans in the form of Susan Collins and Michael Steele...
Look at what happened to Senator Susan Collins of Maine, who bloggers have been decrying for demanding that President Obama strip $870 million for pandemic flu preparedness out of the stimulus spending....Michael Steele, the Republican National Committee chairman, you could tell CNN that the stimulus “had nothing to do with how pigs, why pigs stink,” which seems a little less helpful.


She ends by trying to make the Biden fiasco just another political comment:
“Semihysteria is the easy political path. Anxious Americans appreciate politicians’ eagerness to assure us that we’re not only right, we’re under-reacting…”

Only on the pages of NY Times, the paper that wants to know what Obama finds most “enchanting” about being president.

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