Anthony Weiner’s Cock and Bull Story

Look, even his friends and acquaintances no longer believe his story. His defenders are back to resurrecting the Bill Clinton all-purpose excuse: “move on.”

Anthony Weiner was not a 40 year-old virgin. With his rising political stardom he may have found that – in the immortal words of Henry Kissinger – Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. He also found that with the sexual allure of power, there was little need to avoid being direct and he used the Arnold Schwarzenegger approach to seduction: “Wanna f***k?” This explains the message he sent, direct and to the point, via a picture: "you turn me on, let’s meet sometime."  He's attracted to people like Ginger Lee, who "acts" in porn movies.

Here’s what I believe really happened:

He’s "tweeting" and has college student Gennette Cordova in mind, having given her a "heads-up" earlier about an appearance in the radio.

Nice body, young, has DM’d him before so he decides to tell her that he’d like to … get together for some “fun.” Unfortunately for him, he misses a keystroke and turns his message from a private message to his entire list.

05/27/2011 20:00 @RepWeiner tweets "@GennetteNicole http://yfrog.com/h25m3luj"; the skinny white male erection photo

Shortly thereafter he realizes what he’s done. What to do? He can’t admit that he’s using pictures of his penis in his shorts to attract young women not his wife. The only alternative is to claim he’s been hacked. Soooo..

1 hour and 24 minutes after sending his underwear picture he tweets that he’s been hacked, and tries to make a joke of it. 

05/27/2011 21:24 @RepWeiner tweets "Tivo shot. FB hacked. Is my blender gonna attack me next?"

So he’s created an alibi. The only problem is that he risks entrapping himself in an illegal act if he goes much further. He can’t call in the cops or the FBI because of the risks of perjury. The Internet info is that it’s child’s play for law enforcement to determine who sent the picture, and he can’t have that. So he does two things: first, lawyers up to get expert legal advice on how to avoid a perjury trap. Second the downgrades the accusation from a "hack" which is illegal to a "prank" which he graciously decides to let pass so that (to use the words of Bill Clinton) he can get back to the job that the voters sent him to Washington to do.

The last team he says he’s hired is an Internet security firm. This also makes sense because they can provide him expert advice on adding plausibility to his alibi.   It's also a way of deflecting questions about not calling in the FBI.

So where does this get us? Sadly, not far, except to expose to a larger audience something that a lot of us already knew about Anthony Weiner, that he’s a creep. Now we know he's a creep with sexual issues.  Sending a picture of your erection to a young woman is not a criminal act. Sending the picture to 45,000 people isn’t a crime either. Planning to cheat on your wife isn't a crime either.  And since he’s a Liberal Democrat, there will be no calls for his resignation from the press. The press will pretend to believe him, just as they pretended to believe Ted Kennedy when he told them that he tried desperately to rescue Mary Jo Kopechne. And you won’t even get calls for his resignation from Republicans; they don’t get that aggressive.

There are no Republican attack dogs like Anthony Weiner. It won’t be long before he’s sinking his fangs into another Republican. It like the difference between Muslims on Jihad and Presbyterians at prayer.