We are gathered on the lawnour screens today to celebrate a momentous occasion, your graduation from college! As your Dean of Arts and SciencesZoom Operations, I am honored to be hereteleconferencing with you today. Before I begin, let us all give a round of applausepress the clap reaction to celebrate the achievements of our newest graduating class.
Class of 2020, how does it feel to have your hard work culminate in such a joyousdevastating moment? For many students, this day feels like something out of a dreamnightmare. Whether you studied Math, Music, or Environmental Science, all of you should be feeling a sense of accomplishmentoverwhelming dread.
As you sit here today in your graduation gownsunwashed pajamas, surrounded by your closest friends and family members, empty bedroom, remember to treasure this moment. Treasure your memories of Senior Weekyour abrupt, final day of class. Treasure your memories of Spring Breakcanceled plansthe Student-Faculty Dinner, a panicked phone-call home, and Senior Formalbeing forcibly removed from your dorms. And most of all, treasure your memory of this graduation ceremonysobbing hysterically while you packed your stuff into your parents’ minivan.
During your college careers, you worked hard to prepare yourself for amazing jobsjobs that no longer exist. Our graduates will go on to practice lawmanufacture N95 masks, run businesses, drive ambulances, and work in HollywoodPurell factories. This audience is full of extraordinary talent, and I have no doubt that our students will achieve extraordinary things. Some of our students may even compete in the Olympics, write best-selling novels, or run for officesurvive!
Sadly, today might be the last time that you see some of your classmatesyou will probably never see your classmates again. Because after today, our brilliant graduates will be moving all over the country. They will be settling in places like New York Citytheir parent’s home in Ohio, Los Angelestheir parent’s home in Florida, or Chicagotheir parent’s home in Connecticut.
Class of 2020, treat your life moving forward as a big adventure! If I could go back in time and give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to travel the worldstay at home. After all, our planet is full of incredible sightsviral pathogens that will surely amaze youkill you. Now has never been a betterworse time to travel the globe. Seize these opportunities while you are young, otherwise, you may never have a chance to travel again!
The future is in your handstotally up in the air, to be honest. What you do with your college education will hopefully impact our societywhat is left of our society. We can all agree that this last semester has been a bundle of joyfucking train wreck, and let’s hope we never forgetquickly forget this period of our lives.
And with that, Class of 2020, you did it! Now go out therestay inside, embrace the ones you lovestay inside, and change the worldplease, for the love of God, just stay inside!!