Op-Ed: To End Racism, We Need More Racism

Babylon Bee: Is this parody?  Would it surprise anyone to see this as an article in the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Virginian Pilot?

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Racism is bad. It’s not just bad, it’s the worst. It’s ridiculous that I even have to say that in 2020, yet here we are. Since nobody seems to want to say it, I will. We must end racism- like, right now.

We can end it, and it’s not even that hard. The only thing we have to do is separate everyone by their race and ethnicity and appoint strong leaders to ensure all the races receive equal treatment. Like, even though they are separate, they’re still equal. It’s a brilliant and much-needed strategy I just now thought of.

The other thing we have to do is eliminate all color-blindness from our society. We must ensure that people look at everyone else primarily through the lens of skin color. It’s the only way to defeat racism. If everyone thinks of their fellow humans as a skin color above all else, it will ensure we recognize and honor those skin colors according to how much oppression they have experienced.

Some say my proposals are racist, but that’s stupid because they are the racist ones. They don’t even realize that “not being racist” is actually the most racist thing you can do because it allows racism to continue.

The only thing big enough to defeat racism is a bigger, more powerful form of racism, like regular racism only a lot more of it and also reversed.

If America follows this simple plan, we will stop being racist, which will actually be racist, and will then require a new and innovative form of reverse-reverse racism to combat it.

But we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Death to America.