Roman Authorities Investigating Jesus For Violating Stay-In-Tomb Order

 

JERUSALEM—Roman authorities are investigating controversial religious leader Jesus of Nazareth for violating the Empire's clear "stay in tomb" order. After crucifying him and laying him in the tomb, Roman guards put Him under strict orders to stay there and not come back, rising victorious over sin and death.

But Jesus, answering to a higher authority, refused to stay dead and busted out of the tomb, establishing a kingdom that would never end -- again, in clear violation of the government's orders.

"Jesus is a dangerous rebel, refusing to bend the knee to Caesar and not abiding by the law of sin and death," said one Roman official. "He clearly broke the law by leaving the tomb, and we're going to be issuing a citation and placing him under mandatory quarantine for these crimes."

After coming into contact with many large groups over the course of approximately 40 days, Jesus ascended into heaven and is currently thought to be reigning on high.

Authorities are also investigating Him for planning to gather with a large multitude of every tribe, tongue, and nation. He says he currently has no plans to obey any earthly king on the matter, pressing ahead with the gathering of those who believe He died and rose again and trust Him alone for their salvation.

Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Matthew 28:

1 In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre. 

2 And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it. 

3 His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow: 

4 And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead men. 

5 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. 

6 He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. 

7 And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you. 

8 And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word. 

9 And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him. 

10 Then said Jesus unto them, Be not afraid: go tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see me.

The Report of the Guard

11 Now when they were going, behold, some of the watch came into the city, and shewed unto the chief priests all the things that were done. 

12 And when they were assembled with the elders, and had taken counsel, they gave large money unto the soldiers, 

13 Saying, Say ye, His disciples came by night, and stole him away while we slept. 

14 And if this come to the governor's ears, we will persuade him, and secure you. 

15 So they took the money, and did as they were taught: and this saying is commonly reported among the Jews until this day.

Jesus Commissions the Eleven

16 Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, into a mountain where Jesus had appointed them. 

17 And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted. 

18 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. 19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: 

20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.