Clone Cynthia McKinney!!!

By Vanderleun:

As the week that wasn't rolled along in the ant farm of Congress, a joke and a lyric kept running through my little head.

The joke was, "I bought an ant farm. Watched it for three months and I want my money back. Those ants didn't raise shit."

But this morning, while shaving and humming that tune, I thought, "Nothing happening in Congress? Why is that a bad thing? Nothing is what almost always happens in Congress. When nothing happens in Congress, all Americans should rejoice. When something actually does happen in Congress is when we all need to increase our holdings of canned goods and ammunition.

"Congress is the one area of the economy where wise Americans should insist on dependably declining productivity. After all, it is not as if we've got a critical shortage of laws and legislation in the country. We've got laws, legislation, and regulations that, piled up into an all-American heap of "Made in America" bullshit, make all the butter mountains of Europe combined look like a gnat's pimple.

"Our task as Americans is to make sure that even less gets done in Congress than the nothing that is currently being done.

"But how?" I asked myself.

"Self," said I, "how can patriotic Americans of every race, color, creed, national origin, or self-assigned gender, make sure, make certain to a quantum level of granulation, that Congress does less than nothing; that all accomplishment in Congress moves from Zero into negative numbers?"

And then it came to me like a revelation, like a bush bursting into flame, like a pillar of fire lighting my way out of the wilderness of potential congressional action into the Promised Land of utter congressional paralysis: Clone Cynthia McKinney!

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