Coumo wants to get into a mud slinging match.

"If a guy says you have no cojones, how do you punch him back, call him an a--hole?" the Democratic gubernatorial candidate fumed in a secret talk to his team, one insider said.

"We have all this stuff [on Paladino] and we're on the defensive," Cuomo groused, the insider added....

The counterattack planning session came after Paladino issued a taunting letter that questioned Cuomo's manhood, ripped his pop's performance as governor - and taunted him to "for the first time in your life be aman."

Paladino challenged Cuomo to a debate immediately after his shocking GOP primary victory last Tuesday against party favorite Rick Lazio. Cuomo hasn't responded.

"It's difficult to understand why you, a polished veteran campaigner, scion of a political dynasty and king-designate, would fear a simple businessman from Buffalo, who candidly has never been in a debate in his life - except maybe in a bar," Paladino wrote.

the Coumos of New York are not used to being attacked.