"Yeah, I wanna be a ninja turtle," he said. "Pow! Bam! Bang!" He then started kicking his mother and stabbing her in the face with his plastic sai, confirming their suspicion that little Hayden was actually a ninja turtle trapped in a boy's body. Over the next three months, their boy underwent seven surgeries and strange glowy sewer ooze to help him begin his biological transition into a ninja turtle who punches things.
"It's important for parents to listen to their kids' every desire and immediately affirm that desire," Greg told reporters at a press conference held on their lawn. "If your kid says he's a fire truck, rip off his legs and install some industrial tires, for goodness' sake."
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