What's with John Kerry and his stupid magic hat. He is still insisting that he ferried Martin Sheen up the Blue Nile river on a top secret mission to find and kill Marlon Brando. Sheen was assigned this mission because the Army brass had decided that Brando had to go due to his unacceptable weight gain and talking with cotton balls stuffed in his jowls. The generals in Saigon, capital of Cambodia, couldn't understand anything he was saying over the field telephone when he was speaking in Morse Code. For example, when Brando called to say "Merry Christmas", the generals thought they heard, "May you kiss my ass." So, they ordered the recently decorated hero John Kerry (who had shot himself in the fingernail) to ferry the notoriously bloodthirsty right-wing bigot with the idiot sons (Sheen) to the border between Laos and Tasmania to find and silence Don Vito Brando.
As proof, Kerry offers an Army/Navy Surplus Store campaign hat that he carries around in a secret magic briefcase (its secret is that it is covered in bull elephant foreskin and the magic is that, when you rub the side of the briefcase, it grows into a full-size Pullman suitcase).
"They gave me a hat," Mr. Kerry says. "I have the hat to this day," he declares, rising to pull it from his briefcase. "I have the hat."
Ok, ok, you've got the damned hat. The people listed below all were quite proud of their hats, too, and justifiably so.
Read the rest...
No comments:
Post a Comment