One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and
help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried
horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well
is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
Live simply and appreciate what you have.
Give more.
Expect less
NOW ............
Enough of that crap . . The donkey later came back,
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong, and try to cover
your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
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On that fateful day, March 6, 1836, Davy Crockett woke up and walked from his bunk on the ground floor of the Alamo up to the observation post on the west wall.
William B.Travis and Jim Bowie were already up there.
The three gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily towards them. Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his face and said, "Jim, are we landscaping today?"
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A Soldiers Fear…
There was a black soldier who was talking to Chelsea Clinton and she asked him about fear. He said there were only three things in the world he was afraid of, Osama, Obama, and yo Mama.
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RECTUM STRETCHER
While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a
bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in
wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a
rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way
up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I
work from side to side until I can get both ha nds in, and
then I slowly
but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
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