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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

 

Varifrank writes: In Defense of Larry Craig

In absolutely none of the writing, reporting or blogging on the subject of Larry Craig have I seen anything but a presumption of guilt. So this is interesting.
Here’s what I learned when I read the police report on Larry Craig

1. Whatever you do when you are on a layover between flights, don’t use public bathrooms before you get on the next flight. Clearly, that is a sign that you are looking for anonymous gay sex, because no one in his right mind would use a public bathroom for any other purpose.

2. If you enter the bathroom and all the stalls appear to be full, don’t stand outside and tap your foot. While in some cultures looking at your watch at tapping your foot is a way of showing that you are anxious and perhaps ready to explode your bowels all over the floor, in Minneapolis it means only one thing, you want anonymous gay sex.

3. If you really, really have to go, and you are not really sure that there is someone inside the stall or not, whatever you do, don’t investigate further by trying to look inside. Clearly, that can only be read as a sign that you want anonymous gay sex.


Read the rest.

Comment: After reading the police report I am now curious. I have to admit a few things. I can be accused of not being observant. Not being gay, I had no idea that foot tapping was a signal of interest in sex. The police report says (and I quote) “Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct.” Who knew?

Then there’s the description of Craig swiping his fingers under the stall divider. What was that all about? Was he pulling the roll of toilet paper or is this a signal for “lewd conduct” again? Be careful out there because pulling the TP too vigorously could be an invitation to gay sex to some.

Not being immersed in the Gay culture, I have no idea of what signals I may be giving off. One thing I won’t do if ever arrested by a baby-faced cop in a public restroom is cop a plea. That could be the start of something really ugly.

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