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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Deer seneter Bahrock Ohbama -- HALP!

"JohnHuang2" at FreeRepublic.com


It's great to see Jeremiah Wright back from retirement now writing Obama's speeches. Or maybe 20 years of 'God Damn America' sermons which Obama accidentally didn't hear infected him anyway. If you're Obama, you go into these towns like San Francisco, and like a lot of other places such as Berkeley and Madison, filled with deranged liberals, whose delusions fell through the "Gore administration" and the "Kerry administration", neither of which actually happened, and each successive campaign has said that somehow liberalism is going to regenerate and it has not. So it's not surprising, then, that libbies get bitter, they cling to abortion or evolution or antipathy to mouth-breathing, six-fingered nukkel-dragin church goh-ing gunn-klinging skripsure-reeding Bibel-thuhmping hiks like me as a way to eksplain theeir own frustrashens.

Oh dear. I deeply regret those remarks. Slip of the lips. I misspoke at 11:00 at night and I was exhausted after campaigning in a combat zone, digging up landmines under sniper fire -- oops, wrong candidate.

To win the blue-collar vote in Pennsylvania, Obama rode his campaign bus for a week and bowled "37". But now he's a renowned authority on small towns because of that bus he rode. (Just like Howard Dean became an authority on the Book of Job, 'the one in the New Testament,' because he read three Bible verses once.) At a fundraiser in the American heartland of San Francisco, the national uniter said that yokels in small towns go to church because the economy is bad and are bitter because they worship God and not liberals and go hunting because they have lousy jobs. And these typical white people are guilty racists.

It's remarks like that which make me bitter. And now, if you'll excuse me, I must clean my evil Smith & Wesson. No, wait. Time to cling to a Bible. I'm so bitter!


Being supposedly the 'greatest' orator since Abraham Lincoln, Obama now says he made a poor choice of words and that he didn’t mean that small-town Americans are gun-toting xenophobes and Jesus freaks, that he really only meant that small-town America is bitter, and that the bitterness drives them to become gun-toting, xenophobes and Jesus freaks, and he also says he deeply regrets if anyone got offended, because branding small-town Americans as bitter gun-toting xenophobes and Jesus freaks was meant in a good way, since "these traditions that are passed on from generation to generation, those are important, that’s what sustains us," so he also stands by his choice of words because he says they’re “true”. Got that?


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