Traveling through Florida, as I have been for some weeks, you see these underutilized assets all about you. They are everywhere, like rich, virgin topsoil ready to be planted and then harvested. What's more, harvesting these assets to put some real money into circulation does not go against the core values of the ruling Democratic majority. It merely extends them to the logical conclusion. Like the culling of the herd before birth through the use of abortion to get the nonproductive out of the way before they can consume resources, it is time our older citizens -- far past their usefulness, their productive years, but likely to consume lots of resources for decades to come -- were, quite simply, liquidated.
Yes, it's time for mom and pop and granny and grandpop to go. All 37 million of them must be transformed from codger to compost if the American dream is not to become a new-age nightmare. It's time for a government program from coast to coast to make sure that every American over the age of 65 takes one for the team -- in the form of a government approved and delivered .22 bullet in the back of the head.
Now I know that some may think me harsh in my prescription for continuing prosperity among the Baby Boomers and their offspring, but hear me out because, to coin a phrase, "There's gold in them thar grannies."
The summary execution of every man and woman in America over the age of 65 brings two immediate benefits to the United States.
...A third benefit is a jobs program right here and right now. And for the disadvantaged as well.
It might take some training to teach an urban youth basic skills such as "showing up on time for work" since they have only had eight to twelve years of expensive education, but it takes none at all to have urban youth sneak up on grandpa and "bust a cap in his skanky ass." This new class of SSa worker allows us to put jobs, paying jobs, that the worker already knows how to do on the street tomorrow. "A hit tomorrow = a pay check Friday" should be the new slogan of the Obama Works Administration (OWA!). This should not be, I hasten to add, a kind of "WPA" (We Putter Around) retread of the glorious FDR years, but a new take on killing for the state with both quotas and bounties for all.
The willing youth workers of America await. All that is required is a government regulated .22 pistol and a few boxes of ammunition each.
In the unquenchable spirit of "Yes, we can!" there is opportunity in this act for those that want to give back and pitch in to make America great again. Families that take culling into their own hands and transport the bodies of their mothers, fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers to their local Transplant Parts Recycling Unit will be paid the bounty plus an eco-bonus for helping the government clean up after itself and keeping the country green through recycling properly. In addition they get to feel like "really good people" for reducing the carbon-footprint that the elderly would leave if they were left alive. People presenting two or more bodies will be given a bumper-sticker autographed by the Secretary of the Interior proclaiming "Dad's Dead That the Planet May Live."
...I call for the ruling party to put aside their own ages, draft appropriate legislation (with the proviso that all guns and ammunition be 'Made in America'), and move the bills into law. After all, a party that can kill millions of babies ("for their own good") should have no problem popping a cap in granny's ass.
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