Sunday, November 13, 2016
I would like to address all of you rioting hippies, fifth-generation welfare leeches and assorted illegal immigrants who are currently looting, burning and carjacking your way across the college campuses and free-stuff districts of America.
First of all, can we describe these civil disturbances for what they really are? These are not “anti-Trump” riots, they are “pro-Hillary” temper tantrums.
Tuesday was the revolt of the working classes. Now we have an ongoing insurrection of the non-working classes.
All the same Occupy vermin who camped out on the Greenway to protest the corrupt patriarchy of Wall Street one-percenters are now protesting the fair-and-square defeat of the corrupt candidate who was supported by 99.99 percent of Wall Street one-percenters.
I beseech you snowflakes. Put down your therapy puppies and your Molotov cocktails.
President-elect Trump has asked me to personally reassure you that he has no plans to compel anyone to actually get jobs in this new post-Trumpocalaypse America.
Nobody will intrude on your safe space — the couch in front of the wide-screen TV in your mom’s Sect. 8 apartment.
Dudes, look on the bright side of what happened Tuesday — your midterms have been canceled, and weed is now legal.
They’re not bright, obviously — have you seen the photo of the protester with the sign demanding “Deport Fashiosm”?
Apparently they’ve already deported Spell Check.
But I think I’ve figured out why the Young Democrats are so distraught. They believed, and apparently continue to believe, that post-election, we were planning to do to them what they were planning to do to us.
Read the whole thing.