Friday, November 18, 2016
Now, you and rest of the unshaven she-beasts and spindly femboys could take this opportunity for reflection and introspection following the election instead of retreating to your campus safe spaces for vegan cookies and awkward hugs. You could try to figure out where you went wrong losing so many voters who you used to have sewn up. The idea is to figure out how you might be able to prevent similar results in the future. Some call it a “post-event analysis.” In the Army – for the goatee n’ scarf gang, that’s the one that fights on the ground – we call it an “after action review.” Coroners call it an “autopsy.”And you’ll never, ever do it. Why? Because you are liberals and you already have your answers.Everyone is racist.Everyone is sexist.Everyone is stupid.Everyone but you, that is. You, the ones the racist, sexist, stupid people beat like a NFL player’s wife.And speaking of the NFL, have you noticed how its own autopsy of its own dying ratings also seems to have a predetermined outcome, one that studiously avoids any unwelcome conclusions?Oh, it’s too many ads.Oh, it’s too many penalties.Oh, it’s the election.Anything missing? Anything significant to, say, the kind of people who used to like football? I dunno, maybe the NFL’s coddling of spoiled jerks who disrespect the flag?
Yeah, I played the #Science card. Case closed. Who needs to even talk to the idiots who are clearly too stupid to understand that their role is to rubberstamp the political manifestations of liberal fads and urban mysticism. I mean, some of those people work in fracking and just don’t understand that despite the ever-growing series of “This is it, we’re doomed, we really, really mean it this time” milestones falling back in society’s collective rear-view mirror, the weather obsessions of blue city neurotics are much, much more important than them feeding their families.
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