Babylon Bee Satier: "We Must Hand Control Of Our Healthcare Over To The Most Trustworthy Entity Of All: The Government"

The healthcare crisis has come to a head. Rising costs, woeful insurance coverage, and inflated drug prices are devastating millions throughout our land. All across the nation, people are waking up to the fact that we simply can’t let this issue be swept under the rug any longer.

As government involvement in our healthcare has increased, the problem has only gotten worse, which is obviously the fault of the free market. If we are to fix this problem, we must turn to the obvious solution. We must hand control of our healthcare over to the most trustworthy entity of all: the government of the United States.

When has the government ever lied to us? When has the government ever failed to follow through on a promise? When has the government ever been proven to be inept, inefficient, or ineffective, pray tell? Can’t think of a single time? I didn’t think so. That’s because they are masters of making good, moral decisions, keeping their word, and managing even trillions of dollars with frugality and honesty.

The government has proven time and again it is the solution to any problem, from turmoil in the Middle East to the drug war to the war on terror. And that’s why it’s high time to wrest control of our healthcare away from the greedy for-profit corporations whom we can no longer trust, and hand it over to the trustworthy, caring, nurturing federal politicians who love us so.

Bare reason compel us to accept the only logical solution to the imminent healthcare disaster the government created: hand full control of healthcare to the government.