Biden Says If Everyone Is On Their Best Behavior He Might Allow Some Limited Freedoms On July 4

 

"If you are all good boys and girls, we can have a few freedoms back on the fourth of July," he said. "It'll be a nice treat for doing such a good job listening. Who's a good boy? You are, Americans!"

Some of the freedoms Biden says Americans will be granted will include the following:

• Gathering in small groups of 1-3
• Enjoying barbecued food as long as it's covered in hand sanitizer
• Shouting "Freedom!" as long as you shout quieter than you speak and everyone is wearing masks
• Launching government-approved fireworks that don't spread too much celebration and freedom
• Waving flags as long as they aren't the American flag