Sen. Dodd's role: VIP bearing gifts

Chris Dodd was 8 when Papa Dodd was elected to Congress in 1952. For 56 years, because of his father's station and later his own, Chris Dodd has lived the VIP life. No one knows, and he can't possibly remember, how many doors his VIP status has opened; how many prime tickets to sold-out plays and sporting events, how many free junkets and trinkets, how many nights on the town, etc., he got; and how many scrapes he got out of because he's Chris Dodd. Rest assured: Every time he got the VIP treatment, he knew he got it because of who he is.

At some point, the VIP treatment ceased to be an expectation for him, but an entitlement, and "Hi, this is Chris Dodd" has became code for "gimme," which allowed him to demand the VIP treatment without expressly asking for it. In this way, if he ever got caught taking a gimme, he could claim he didn't "seek or expect any special treatment." Over the years, people have given him everything he's asked for, but technically never requested, not out of the goodness of their hearts, but because they knew he could make their lives more comfortable, or more difficult, anytime he damned well pleased. Because he's, well, Chris Dodd.

This is how members of Congress peddle their influence and avoid indictment.

In 2003, Sen. Dodd got the VIP treatment — two sweetheart refinanced mortgages — from Countrywide Financial while he was ranking member of the Senate Banking Committee, which oversees the mortgage market. (He chairs the committee today.) According to his first telling of the tale, he, as "a United States senator," and his wife shopped for mortgages, but did not "seek or expect any special treatment" from then-CEO Angelo Mozilo. Moreover, they were "not aware" they got any.

But Version 2.0 contradictorily holds the Dodds were masterful negotiators, who browbeat a run-of-the-mill loan officer into knocking their rates downs and waiving fees and closing costs, and banking bumpkins. They went to Countrywide not as Sen. and Mrs. Dodd, but average nobodies who to their utter amazement were told they were the newest members of Mr. Mozilo's VIP borrowers' club, though they did not "seek or expect" it. By his own admission, Sen. Dodd was "born at night, but not last night," yet after a half-century of living the VIP life because of his congressional affiliations, it never occurred to him Countrywide's VIP treatment might be connected to his position on the Banking Committee.

"We literally just assumed it was a courtesy," which it turns out was extended by Mr. Mozilo, linked to their excellent credit rating (Aside to Sen. Dodd: What's your number?) and their many years as faithful Countrywide customers. Four years, to be exact. And as the average homeowner knows, all lenders shave interest rates and waive fees for borrowers not named Chris Dodd who have been good customers for four years, and they do it even when borrowers don't "seek or expect" it.

Moreover, since the Dodds were such rubes when it comes to the imponderable mortgage process, it never dawned on them to ask what the VIP program was or what "perks" — aka "gifts" — they should expect. And since "I'm not clairvoyant," he said, they had no way of knowing they were saving $75,000 under a program that is unavailable to the untold thousands of Americans not named Chris Dodd whose credit ratings are equal to or better than his.

Yet in 2008, this babe in the banking woods was able to craft a convoluted, $300 billion bailout plan that by sheer coincidence would rescue Countrywide and other lenders from their subprime-lending excesses. But this is no quid pro quo, Sen. Dodd asserts, because he has criticized Countrywide's practices publicly, and as the saying goes, words speak louder than actions.

Amazingly, Sen. Kent Conrad, D-N.D., also did not seek or expect VIP treatment when he refinanced mortgages in 2003 and 2004 through Countrywide. Yet he got his sweetheart loans, even if they weren't as sweet as the Dodds', only after kissing Mr. Mozilo's ring. Sen. Dodd's story? He's unsure he's ever met Mr. What's-his-name.

With the Ethics Committee investigation under way, it is imperative that Sens. Dodd and Conrad maintain, against all reason, that they were unaware they got discounts and freebies — gifts — from Countrywide because ethics rules forbid senators from knowingly accepting loans with terms more favorable than those available to the public.

Maintaining this charade is vital because violators are subject to, among other things, censure.

Just like Papa Dodd.