Psaki Vows To Find, Destroy Underground Lair Where All Corporate Executives Meet To Decide To Raise Prices Simultaneously For No Reason

 

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a press conference today, Press Secretary Jen Psaki vowed to track down and destroy the secret underground lair where all corporate executives meet to decide to raise prices simultaneously, for no reason. 

"It's a conspiracy! A CONSPIRACY, I TELL YOU!" said Psaki as she wildly flipped through her notebook. "The big meat conglomerates! The oil conglomerates! The toothpaste conglomerates! They're all greedy and they're conspiring to raise prices on consumers because they're greedy!"

Wit h that, the entire White House Press Corps broke into wild applause, rushed the podium and carried Psaki around the room on their shoulders.