Write Your Own “True Story”

From the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler we get:

LC & IB Ace, in honor of MSNBC running with every bit of anecdotal blather without bothering to as much as ask questions (it’s called “professional journalism”, so don’t you DARE question it!), is inviting you all to write up stories of your own, stories that you’ve presumably “heard from somebody” even though it doesn’t really matter if you have or if you just made them up on the spot. Ace, in the time-honored tradition of “professional journalism” and the enormously high ethical standards of the MSM, won’t fact-check them in the least.

We sorta liked the MSNBC “true story” that he posted as an example of the professional MSM standard of printing anything they like to print, except for the fact that the Lebanese telling it were rank amateurs, so we offer up the new an improved version with our additions in italics:

The Horiz family told me they walked for two days as Israel shelled their village, dodging shells and shrapnel for 48 hours straight while IDF death commandos sniped at the weak from every rooftop and every tree, thinning the ranks and doing unspeakable things to the poor unfortunates that weren’t lucky enough to die at first.

“My three-year-old son didn’t have any shoes,” said the father, “they got blown off along with the lower part of his legs, so he had to hump to this place on the two bleeding stumps, pausing every five minutes to staunch the hemorrhage with a burning stick while I fended off packs of ravenous wolves with my bare hands.”

Abeer Baz walked here, too, through 8 feet high piles of snow in a zero visibility blizzard.

“They bombed my neighbor’s house and we had to leave,” she said. “We’d been bombed out of our own house a week earlier and were all living in a crumpled shoe box underneath his staircase, where we had to subsist on a diet of the cockroaches that had been killed by the nerve gas the IAF bombed us with every 30 seconds.”

Just hours after she gave birth to her baby six days ago, Baz walked 10 miles to get here, dragging the infant behind her by the still-attached umbilical cord, left on since the midwife had been raped, bayonetted and eaten by IDF commandos before she could cut it.

In the emergency room, we found 70-year-old Latifa Nasr. Dr. Nabil Harquosa said an Israeli shell destroyed her house, her entire neighborhood, a daycare center and the Hezbollah baby milk factory down the street.

“She stayed from last night until tonight under the destruction,” said Harquosa.

There, much better. You have to leave this stuff to the professionals, you know.