New Idea for the Obese: Fat Offsets

Never let it be said the American ingenuity has ended. The carbon offset industry is only the beginning of a new trend in indulgence. Now you can roam the earth in your private Gulfstream jet without guilt, luxuriate in your mansion using twenty times the energy of your average home. But what about the obese?

Obesity is rampant. Over 20% of Americans 30 to 69 are obese. And, as usual, women and minorities are hardest hit. Can the same ingenuity that allows Al Gore and John Edwards reduce their carbon footprint be used to reduce the fat footprint of the obese/ In other words, can we buy fat offsets?

Well, why not? How many times have we seen pictures of emaciated children in other parts of the world? No matter how much we give, there never seems to be a shortage of starvation.

Let’s build on the lessons taught us by Liberals saving the planet. Let’s adopt a starving African or Asian and pay him or her to continue to starve!

I, for one want to get ahead of the curve before Al Gore beats me to the punch and corners the market on starvation. We can begin here.

Tell me how much you want to lose and I’ll match you up with the right offset. Limit, one starving Ethiopian per customer.

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