Sheryl Crow thinks she's being environmentally friendly by only squeezing the Charmin one square at a time?

Mark Steyn:

Sheryl Crow's sheet music [Mark Steyn]

So Sheryl Crow thinks she's being environmentally friendly by only squeezing the Charmin one square at a time? Ha! She's the John Edwards of celebrity bathrooms. You want environmentally-conscious stars? Step forward, Drew Barrymore:

Actress Drew Barrymore, who reportedly earns $15 million a film, told MTV viewers in one episode that after spending time in a primitive, electricity-free Chilean village, "I aspire to be like them more."

Barrymore, apparently enthralled by the lack of a modern sanitary facilities, gleefully bragged, "I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome."

The actress Sarah Miles, on the other hand, is one serious recycler. I'm surely not the only one who feels that with this campaign they've finally found a cause all Hollywood can get behind. Has Alec Baldwin got a position on toilets yet? How about an all-star cover version of "All We Are Saying Is Give One Piece A Chance"?


Making a suggestion as stupid as this implies that this over-paid cretin has someone to wipe her ass for her.

Michael Graham joins us with STOP ME BEFORE I WIPE AGAIN!

Dear Gaia, Mother Earth, Giver of All Life,


I'm sorry. I had no idea.


There I was, in the bathroom rolling out the Charmin like it was going out of style, and all the time I was killing you. And I didn't even know it.


To be honest, until I heard environmental expert Sheryl Crow speak out on the subject, it had never dawned on me to "count the squares." When I think "destroying the Earth," I think giant meteors, solar flares, or maybe a tear in the space-time continuum if Rosie O'Donnell and Michael Moore ever mated. But toilet paper?


Who knew that the future of the entire planet would come down to the question "one ply or two?"


I didn't think. I didn't care. Not like Sheryl does.


(By the way, Earth Mother, do you happen to know if Sheryl is one of those rock stars who throws her underwear into the crowd? Yikes.)

And here's from the Washington Times:Sheryl Crow on hygiene

Maybe we're being too hard on Miss Crow. She is fresh from a biodiesel bus tour of college campuses with environmental activist Laurie David. So brimming she could be right now with environmentalist fervor that the freedom-loving Miss Crow -- you know, the one who appreciates paper when it covers 7 million copies of "Tuesday Night Music Club" -- has recessed. In that case, she could be forgiven for failing to ponder how an "industrious enough people" could cut their T.P. use from 57 sheets a day to eight or 10 (federally funded nationwide bidet installation, perhaps). We could also forget the "dining sleeve," a shirt-fastened, washable napkin substitute, which surfaced this week in Miss Crow's diatribe. It is part of a phantom clothing line Miss Crow claims to have created, which trade magazines and industry watchers have inexplicably failed to write about, and which no clothesmaker will produce unless and until Americans decide that a grubby vogue applies, after all, to sleeve-wiping one's mouth after a meal.

But even then, Miss Crow could not be excused for conveniently failing to apply the same standard to herself and her industry -- which used paper, energy, plastics, chemicals and other enviro-left bugaboos to make her fabulously wealthy.