McCain Denounces IMAO (Spoof)

Can't you just see St. John writing this?

I Would Like to Distance Myself from This Website and Everyone Who Reads It

An Editorial by Senator John McCain

I would like to thank Frank J. for the opportunity to officially distance myself from this website and all the crap on it. I plan to run a campaign respectful to Senators Clinton and Obama and disrespectful to you annoying little "conservatives" who try and make me look bad.



I swear, I'm going to win the presidency, and I don't need your whining about campaign finance reform and the illegal brown people to ruin it! You right-wing weirdos -- especially you freaks on the internet -- are nothing but a liability. If you could just learn to shut up about your pansy-ass issues, I could cruise to victory. I hate you people so much, but if you could just be quiet vote for me at the end of the day, we can all get through this. I just need you to cut down on crap like this website.


"You guys are nuts and I hate you." You know how you don't like my campaign finance reform bill? Well, I'm starting to think it was a bad bill since sites likes this IDBO -- or whatever the hell you call it -- are still legal. A staffer showed me it the other day, and it's just a bunch of crap about monkeys and fighting the moon. I don't want the taint of any of you people on my campaign. I'm not a pariah among elite society like you jackasses, and I want to keep it that way. You think putting an afro on Senator Obama to make him look like a black man is funny? Know what else is funny? My foot up your ass!


Let me make this clear: You guys are nuts and I hate you. If I didn't need your votes, I would never come within a hundred miles of you "conservatives." I'm starting to think I hate you more than the gooks who tortured back in Vietnam. That said, you snot-nosed punks better get in line and rally behind me even while I curse your mothers for having given birth to you. If you want to win the war in Iraq and keep this country strong, I'm your only option you little snot-nosed punks. If you think some of the bills I've sponsored are bad so far, just wait until what I introduce if I'm still in the Senate in 2009, bitches. I will make your lives hell.



That's your choice. You can stay home and let someone surrender our country (with all due respect the honorable Senators Clinton and Obama) and have me forever seeking revenge against you, or you can vote for me come November. And if you all behave really well, maybe I'll choose a running mate who doesn't live to piss all over you right-wingers every chance he gets.



But don't count on it. I just hate you all so @#$% much.



And I need your vote.


John McCain is a U.S. Senator from Arizona and the presumptive Republican nominee for president in the 2008 election. His favorite hobbies are being angry and pissing off conservatives.