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Tuesday, September 13, 2016


A Helpful Step-By-Step Guide To Defending Every Clinton Scandal

Republicans: Hillary looks sick.

Democrats: Conspiracy theorists!

R: You know, she’s coughing all the time.

D: Conspiracy theorists!

R: Hillary just passed out.

D: She has allergies and some heat exhaustion. It’s one of the hottest days ever!

R: It was 77 and breezy.

D: Are you suggesting that women have a different, weaker physiology than men?

R: No, I’m suggesting maybe she’s sicker than we think.

D: Misogynist … oh, the campaign says she has a little walking pneumonia. Now we know.

R: Why not say that in the first place?

D: She’s a warrior, amirite?

R: So this 70-year-old lady ill with a contagious sickness is hugging little girls and attending fundraisers?

D: She’s 69 and 7 months, you liar.

R: …

D: She’s a hero to elderly women.

R: Is she contagious?

D: Of course not.

R: If it’s no big deal, why is she canceling campaign events?

D: Actually, this dangerous, contagious sickness has infected a bunch of senior staffers who may now die — that’s how bad it was.

R: Seems serious. If Hillary lied about this, is it possible she is lying again?

D: Conspiracy theorists!

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They can't tell the truth, but everything else makes them look like idiots and liars. You're average run of the mill Democrat campaign.
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