“The Lid’s Official List Of Crazy Things Fearmongers Have Blamed Climate Change”

 

1. Arab spring
2. Incredible shrinking sheep,
3. Destruction of Afghan poppies 
4. Invasion of jellyfish in the Mediterranean
5. A surge in fatal shark attacks
6. Boy Scout tornado deaths,
7. Severe acne
8. Global conflict,
9. Beer tasting bad
10. Better Beer
11. The suicide of farmers in Australia,
12. End of the American Dream
13. Bigger tuna fish,
14. Fish shrinkage
15. Longer days,
16. Shorter days,
17. The collapse of gingerbread houses in Sweden,
18. Cow infertility,
19. UFO sightings in the UK,
20. Shortage of Hookers in the UK
21. A rise in insurance premiums,
22. Heroin addiction
23. Bear attacks in Japan 
24. Frigid Cold Winters in Great Britain
25. Cancer
26. Death from heart disease, diabetes, stroke, respiratory disease, and even accidents,
27. Homicide, suicide
28. Coffee from Uganda
29. Doggie Depression
30. Waterborne disease outbreaks
31. Bad relations with Russia 
32. A decline of Circumcision in Africa
33. Heavier, wetter snowstorms treacherous for travel and ambulation, 
34. Lyme disease, swarms of allergy-inducing, stinging insects, along with mosquitoes and devastating pine bark beetle infestations, and the spread of forest and crop pests  
35. Tigers eating people 
36. Fewer geese
37. 40,000 dead crabs
38. Shorter, higher-pitched frog mating calls in the Middle East.
39. Screwed-up love-making,
40. The Japanese earthquake-tsunami,
41. A horrible rash of tornadoes in the southeast United States,
42. Extended  severe allergy seasons, Lyme disease, malaria or dengue fever, trauma, depression, high blood pressure, and heart disease,
43. Eye Disorders.
44. An Increased threat of wars, violence, and military action against the UK. 
45. Migration of possibly rabid Vampire bats from Mexico, 
46. Extreme weather, disappearing islands, and less productive workdays
47. Giant Snakes
48. Armed robbery, prostitution, and drug abuse in Ghana will make you go nuts,
49. The rise of terrorist group Boko Haram 
50. Caused the Seychelles snail to go extinct it’s alive and well), 
51. Rock Snot
52. Increase anxiety, fear, and depression
53. Expensive Olives
54. Cannibals 
55. No more red-haired people. Women will become pear-shaped, incontinent, impotent bald guys with extra hair growing from their toes. 
56. Global Cooling
57. The sinking of the Titanic 
58. Illegal Immigration  
59. Prostitution
60. ISIS 
61. Walrus “Convention” 
62. Shrinking Goats
63. Diabetes
64. Brexit
65. It will make us crazy
66. Global Stilling