Roosevelt Lied, Robots Died!

"War of the Worlds" as it would be reported today. Excerpts. Click HERE to read the whole thing. Brilliant!

CARL PHILLIPS
Ow! I’m sorry Professor Pierson, I was just reaching for the microphone control and I guess my hand slipped. Professor, as we look out and see the Martian mechano-men smashing and blowing up the countryside, I think all America wants to know: why do they hate us?
PROF. PIERSON
That’s a very good question Mr. Phillips, and I’m sure the mechano-men have a number of good reasons. Maybe it is our militarism, our alignment with their Venusian oppressors, or it could be the luxurious liqui-cushioned ride of our Kokomo Mogul 8s. Whatever their reasons, it is important that we get beyond the violence and begin a dialog with the mechano-men –
(LOUD MECHANICAL NOISES)
CARL PHILLIPS
I’m sorry to interrupt Professor, but have to describe an incredible turn of events. Over Mr. Wilmuth’s hedgerow, there has burst a phalanx of US Army tanks, perhaps dispatched from Fort Dix… and, yes, I believe the sound you just heard overhead was an Army Air Corps bomber squadron! It appears that the War Department has launched an counter assault against the mechano-men! Just a minute, there is a caisson rolling by and… excuse me, sir, Carl Phillips, Consolidated Radio News. May I have a word?
CAPTAIN LANSING
Quickly.
CARL PHILLIPS
Can you tell the folks at home who you are, and what you are doing here?
CAPTAIN LANSING
I’m Captain Lansing of the signal corps, attached to the state militia, and we’re here to give these Martians a taste of hot New Jersey lead.
CARL PHILLIPS
Captain, I think question on the mind of all our listeners is obvious – have you received authorization for this action from the League of Nations?
CAPTAIN LANSING
Well, no, but the President and the War Department have asked us to…
CARL PHILLIPS
If you proceed without the cooperation of Prime Minister Chamberlain or Mr. Stalin or the Germans, won’t the mechano-men have a strong case that this is an illegal, unilateral strike that only serves the interest of the United States, and neo-Venusian masters? Won’t this just anger the Martian community, and provoke them further? What about the brutal New Jersey winter? What about --
CAPTAIN LANSING
Listen, pal, I have to go, they’re shooting death rays at our tanks. You’re welcome to embed with us.
CARL PHILLIPS
With all due respect Captain, that would compromise my integrity as a radio journalist, and a citizen of the solar system. Wait! Ladies and gentlemen, I can hardly describe the horror before my eyes! The Air Corps bombers… and the tanks… they are overwhelming and decimating the outmatched mechano-men! One by one, the mechano-men are fleeing and surrendering!
(TROOPS CHEERING)
CARL PHILLIPS
I think I’m going to be sick.
PROF. PIERSON
Roosevelt lied! Robots Died!