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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Van Der Leun: Follow the Rules and Die ... or Nice Guys Finish Fried


By rote and by ritual most Americans to assert that they "Support our troops." But as we all know, yet seldom admit, America has more of the known reserves of the world's bullshit than the Saudis have oil. The truth of the matter is that far too many Americans are becoming far too interested in our troops behaving correctly than actually supporting and sustaining them. They blather support out of one orifice while spewing disdain from the other. We hear these clapped-out flatulators daily at work, on the street, and over the tube of the boobs. I don't know about you, but for me these hyperventilating hypocrites are beginning to gripe my hindquarters big time.

As we learn from the Holy Texts of Casey Stengel, "Nice guys finish last." I'd suggest we update this sentiment for this war into "Nice guys finish fried." As the events of the last week concerning one Zarquawi illustrate quite succinctly, Americans have the groove in rock, in roll and in the modern battle space. Indeed, at bottom, it could well be said that "They hate us because we have the groove."


You think not? Imagine a second 9/11 on the same or a larger scale. That's what the Canada 17 were planning. Imagine the American response to such an attack. Do you know where our 18 ballistic missile submarines are? No? Neither do I, but if you know what they can do you know that the nuclear payload on any single one of them is the end of the Islamic world. I don't know about you, but I'd prefer if it all did not quite come to that. I'm sure the residents of Tehran, if they were free to speak, would agree.

Too dramatic? Imagine then just the global economic consequences. Picture the vanishing of trillions in capital, the price of a barrel of oil, the crash of the job market, the expulsion of illegals as Americans suddenly become willing to do not only the jobs they won't do, but any job. Imagine a global replay of the Great Depression in a "networked, globalized" world.

Imagine that the housing market deflates with a whoosh. After all your 401K and spare cash were in the market because who wants savings bank interest. Suddenly your one big asset, the thing that made you "feel rich," your million dollar chicken shack is worth $100,000. And your mortgage is due and both the jobs your family had have vanished like the highland mist at high noon. And that $6,000 monthly mortgage payment is 90 days past due. And tomorrow's election day. And you really don't have all that much to do except take that Mickey Mantle Rookie card down to the pawnshop so you can go to the market for a quart of milk.

How did it all happen? We forgot to win. We were so strong and so cool and so with-it, that winning just, well, didn't seem fair. And playing fair is very important to Americans. After all, world war is just the World Series with guns. Isn't it?

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