A Unified Climate Theory

Connecting the dots is important for seeing the truth.

There is scientific evidence that Mars is warming. An inconvenient truth.

There is scientific evidence that the Earth is warming.

And we have a former Canadian defense minister, Paul Hellyer, demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change.

If you are foolish or ignorant enough to dispute these authorities you are obviously a climate denier, LGM denier, and possibly a Holocaust Denier.

Now, if you can’t connect these dots, you are just not paying attention.

It is obvious that Mars actually is inhabited by little green men (LGM). They are obviously green because they have seen what their destructive habits have had on the Martian environment. They have caused catastrophic warming, just as we are doing to our planet. As a result they have become ardent environmentalist. That is obviously the insight of Mr. Hellyer who knows that the LGM have developed “clean” fuels. They are little because Mars is little (duh).

So they (the LGM) have come to earth to escape the environmental destruction that they have wreaked on their own planet. But, as any pilot knows, the most dangerous part of any flight is landing. And the LGM have not perfected that part of their interplanetary flight and so they have crashed, mostly into Roswell, New Mexico.

We also know that the Federal Government owns or controls huge parts of New Mexico, including Area 57 (which is actually in Nevada) where it is hiding the crashed spaceships piloted by unlucky LGM. We also know that the oil companies have bribed the government to keep the technologies developed by the LGM out of the hands of the American people so that the EEEEVIL OIL COMPANIES can continue to exploit Gaia’s limited natural resources for their nefarious purposes.

So, tying it all together: LGM have destroyed the Martian environment, melting its polar ice caps. They became ardent environmentalists, developed clean-burning spaceflight and crash-landed in New Mexico. Mankind is in the process of destroying the planet using SUVs as its primary weapon. The federal government is keeping the secret to clean fuels away from the American public at the bidding of Big Oil. If this is allowed to continue we will all die by drowning as the ice caps melt and water covers all the earth.

The end.