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Friday, March 25, 2011

How the ruling class lives.

Behind the scenes with John Kitzhaber and Cylvia Hayes at the White House
Letter from the "significant other" who sleeps with the Oregon Governor as they attend the National Governors Association Winter Meeting in Washington, D.C.

A few excerpts (read the whole thing).

Airport security checks are for the little people...
Once we checked our bags, John and I were escorted by the Dignitary Protection Unit (DPU) guards right around airport security. A TSA man looked at our passports and sent us on our way. No lines, no inspections, no taking off shoes and jackets, no pulling laptops out of their cases.

How do you introduced the Governor's girlfriend at the conference?
When she started to introduce me she said, “This is Cylvia Hayes, from Oregon, the uh, First … uh, Governor’s uh … Significant …uh, partner…” I jumped in and said, “I’m complicated and my title is evolving.” Everybody laughed. I realized at that moment that was probably the first unmarried partner ever to attend an NGA event in the First Lady role. She went on to mention my professional background and political involvement and then she whispered to me, “Can I tell them about the NA thing?” I said, “oh sure,
why not?” (To myself I was thinking, “Uh oh. Some of these very prim and proper wives may not like this very much.”). She pointed to the First Spouses contact directory and announced that I interpreted NA to mean “Nuptually Agnostic”. The room roared in laughter. From that point forward nearly everyone was warm and welcoming to me....
I remember reading about the roads in Moscow where the middle lane was designated for high communist officials. The ruling class in America did it one better.  As they head for their next meeting:
There we were, in all the puff of importance and urgency, with traffic lights being shut down and cars forced to stop to let us pass...
The Obama White house has lots of experience with the homely fare of the little people ...
I had a great time – interesting conversation and a phenomenal meal comprised of many tasty small courses paired with lovely wines.

To finish off the night, why not rub it in the rubes faces?
When we arrived back at the Marriot, it was late and I was bundled up in my black wool coat. But at the door, I told John I had to exercise the gown. He understood immediately and removed my coat and held out his arm. As we strolled through the lobby in tux and designer gown, shamelessly turning heads, knowing we had just dined with the President and First Lady, I reminded myself of Julia Roberts in the Pretty Woman hotel lobby scene (minus the part about being a prostitute of course J).
Oh, it was really not that different Cylvia.

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