Denver, CO—Prior to Harry Reid’s comments about Barack Obama, President and CEO of Winthorp Enterprises, Inc, John Lynch has always promoted employees based upon their merits. However, Lynch started to reconsider one of his employees for promotion to Vice President of the company. According to Lynch, James Fennewick has worked in the mailroom the last two years, and is a “clean, articulate, light-skinned negro.”
“I never thought one way or another about James,” claimed Lynch. “But since Harry Reid pointed out that Barack Obama was a ‘clean, articulate, light-skinned negro,’ I’ve started looking at James in a new light. In fact, he’s so articulate; I should promote him to Vice President. If a ‘clean, light-skinned, articulate negro’ can be President of the United States, then James can be Vice President of Winthorp Enterprises Inc. Merit based promotions are so passé.”
Evelyn Mathrop—the retiring Vice President of Winthorp Enterprise, Inc—was initially hesitant, but now she agrees with the wisdom of President John Lynch in promoting Fennewick to fill her position.
“At first, I didn’t agree with Mr. Lynch,” declared Mathrop. “I was concerned for our other token, African American employee, Tuwanna Jones, but after Mr. Lynch pointed out that she was a ‘dirty, dark-skinned negro that spoke Ebonics,’ it all made sense to promote Fennewick instead of Tuwanna. I wish him all the luck in the world.”
White people are just looking for light, clean and articulate Negroes.