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Monday, October 10, 2011

Ditch the Coke Nail: Advice for the '99 Percent' Movement

We can see by your peeling, flaking manicure that you've been pinching pennies to get those overwhelming medical bills paid. And cutting your own bangs too! That's a great start, but you could save hundreds, even thousands of dollars a year by limiting yourself to just one coat of red latex paint on your lips each day. Ka-ching!

Also, that choker you're wearing may be a tad too tight. Surely if you had adequate blood flow to your brain, you'd remember a little something called ObamaCare. You remember, the Affordable Care Act that your tear-stained, self-mutilating emo hipster buddies think doesn't go far enough toward destroying American health care and increasing medical costs for millions? Well, it now provides subsidized coverage for Americans with pre-existing conditions in all 50 states.

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