Top Ten Craziest Things that Happened at the Democrats’ Convention Last Night — DAY ONE
[ Click above to embiggen: the Barack and Michelle Obama Presidential Monument destined for the National Mall if the corrupt media has its way in a few years. Note the "Eye of Obama" floating in the air and held aloft by the gazes of the Obama sphinxes ]
Last night I watched the entirety of the Democrats’ Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina so you didn’t have to, because we’re friends like that, and I’m apparently a glutton for punishment. I’ve always wondered how straight guys really feel when they complain about having to sit through something interminable like the Academy Awards where they wonder how much longer this thing on the screen can drag on…and I think I understand a little of that this morning. The Republican Convention at times felt like an Oscars’ telecast too, when various lists of names were read aloud and the audience in their seats politely applauded, but the Democrats’ telecast last night was just dull with what seemed like endless screaming and yelling into the microphone. Honestly, if you’d had asked me two days ago if I would have dreamed that something with almost nonstop screaming and yelling could be DULL, I’d have laughed at you, but somehow Democrats pulled that off. ..
10. Governor Ted Strickland of Ohio embarrassed my home state by actually saying, and I quote: ”If Mitt Romney were Santa Claus he’d have fired the reindeer and outsourced the elves!”. ...There was a lot of rambling Occupy Wall Street garbage here, with Strickland saying Romney was too wealthy but Barack Obama could relate to regular people. Oh, really? Surprisingly enough Strickland didn’t tell everyone about the $35 million beachfront mansion that wealthy Chicago bankers are currently purchasing for the Obamas to live in after they leave Washington in January. ..
9. An angry parade of black men from Cory Booker to Deval Patrick and Mayor Foxx of Charlotte screamed and yelled into the microphone and tried to sound like they were preachers in church. Some more. Black Democrat politicians trying to channel Reverend Jeremiah Wright best get hip to the fact that homey Obama already played that. There’s not going to be another ranting and raving black man as President for a very long time after Obama’s booted out of office come November. ... Do Democrats seriously believe Americans really want to listen to black men angrily shouting at them through the television? There were entire seasons of Oz that had less of this.
8. Women who seemed like they’d never be in any danger of getting pregnant screeched about their “Right to Kill Babies”. A woman named Nancy Keenan took the stage as a seemingly angry, man-hating lesbian and bellowed about how women should be allowed to kill all the babies growing inside them…which, they actually are in fact allowed to do, sadly, in this country. ... She, like all Democrats, made abortion sound almost like something fun by calling it “the choice”…as if the other options to choose from included rooms filled to bursting with candy and a trip to someplace tropical where it always rains right after you’ve done everything you wanted to do that day and were already going inside. Abortion should always be called “the killing of babies inside the womb” and the issues related to it should be known as “The Right to Kill Babies”. Someone like Keenan would never stand up on a stage like that and shout about how much she wanted “to kill babies inside their mothers” but being a lesbian who is preoccupied with other women aborting their babies is something this degenerate has turned into a paying career for herself. ...
7. Nancy Pelosi appeared on stage in what looked like a straight jacket. Her face was frozen and never moved, but that’s normal for her. If memory serves, in the past her arms and hands were still capable of basic motor function but they were locked to her sides during her brief appearance with garishly dressed “Democrat women of Congress”. Nancy was dolled up in all white, with pearls, with her arms seemingly secure to her sides like in a straight jacket. Needles to say, it was a FABULOUS look on her and I highly recommend she dress like that every day…with matching mouth gag if Hermes makes one in her size. It’s not been officially announced, yet, but this is Pelosi’s last Congressional race. She’s retiring in 2014 to live out her days on the grounds of her San Francisco vineyard, Vulture’s Nest. ..
6. There was a Spanish-speaking Congresswoman who wore a Peter Pan costume up on the stage…and no one stopped her. ...
5. What’s the deal with Martin O’Malley and why were Democrats pushing him so aggressively last night? This was strange because O’Malley may be the Governor of Maryland, but he comes across on camera as a smarmy host of QVC late at night where they’re selling Marie Osmond dolls to shut-ins. ...
4. Barack Obama had the stones to bring his ex-boyfriend up on the stage to talk, which would have been like JFK giving Marilyn Monroe a speaking role at some big event in the 60s. I think in a few years once Obama comes out of the closet and people who worked in his inner circle start writing books about the homosexual tendencies of the current president that Kal Penn’s appearance last night will go down in history as one of the most brazen and ballsy things that has ever happened in American politics. ... The equivalent of this would have been having Marilyn Monroe talking about the things she let JFK do to her on the same night that Jackie Kennedy was going to speak somewhere and announce her plans to renovate the White House. It was the most surreal thing I’ve ever seen anyone do in real life…and he did it just an hour or so before Michelle Obama got on stage to talk about how much she loved her husband. Strange!
3. There was a super creepy Eye of Obama that would pop up on the screen like it was giving commands to all assembled. Speaking of one-eyed-monsters…you know that bizarre Obama “O” that the current president uses as his personal emblem? I don’t think any other president has had anything like this. It’s very Idi Amin or Saddam Hussein of Barack to plaster that “Eye of Obama” on everything. ...
2. Michelle Obama’s speech was good, despite what her detractors might say today. It was a solid A-effort for a First Spouse’s speech. ... Very well played, Michelle Antoinette. I salute you for improving yourself and better masking your true nature.
1. Now, if only she could learn to dress herself appropriately for the occasion. Michelle Obama wore what can only be described as a swimsuit to deliver her big speech. For years now, I’ve said this woman only looks properly dressed two days a year: Halloween and April Fool’s Day. Last night, she did not add September 4th to that short list.
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