By now everyone has heard that racists lock their car doors when black people are around. Well, I have a confession. My car's a racist. You see, every time I put my car in gear and there's a black person around it automatically locks its doors.
I have also noticed that it locks the doors when people of pallor are around. The car must thing that they are one of those new kind of minorities that the New York Time has found for us. Like White-Hispanics or maybe the Black-White people, sort of like Barack Obama except paler. Since being made aware of it I'm offended by my blatantly racist car.
I sort of liked my car before I found out that it was really a KKK-mobile and that by driving it I was dissing the Black community.
So I went to a number of dealers and you know what? Pretty much all cars are as racist at mine. Some wait until you get to 10 miles per hour before they lock up with a loud "thunk" designed to show their racism, but every darn one of them just hates Black people. I wonder if the Department of Justice has looked into this? I wonder how they managed to stop Eric Holder's car from being racist, or the one they call The Beast?