Want To Be One Of The New IRS Agents? Here Are The 17 Job Requirements

 

1. Must be a U.S. citizen
2. Minimum education: Bachelor of Science degree in Accounting
3. 5 years of Krav Maga martial arts experience
4. Maintain a level of fitness necessary to perform a chokehold until a tax delinquent is subdued and/or dead
5. Must derive pleasure from human suffering
6. Comfortable with firing squad-style executions
7. Unable to think for yourself
8. Ability to use force lightning preferred but not required
9. Cheered for Agent Smith in The Matrix
10. Must hate children
11. Proficiency in ignoring people who tell you to mind your own business
12. Passionate about auditing Etsy moms selling crafts just trying to make ends meet
13. Fluent in German, goose-stepping experience is a plus
14. Comfortable with firing RPGs at the homes of conservative activists with tax "discrepancies"
15. Previous waterboarding experience
16. Pass a psychological exam to determine if you sympathize with the government while watching Jason Bourne movies
17. Looking for the type that shoots first and does the math later