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Saturday, June 13, 2015

 

Gunman attacks Dallas Police HQ


Erroneous reports of multiple attackers.  There was only one man.

Multiple gunmen toting automatic weapons opened fire on officers outside Dallas Police headquarters early Saturday morning, before one man fled the scene being chased by police in what witnesses described as an armored van, according to Dallas Police Chief David Brown.

Report of "automatic weapons" is undoubtedly also incorrect.

"Armored vehicle" was a used "Zombie Apocalypse Assault Vehicle and Troop Transport."

The company that sold it, Jenco Sales Inc., described the vehicle on Facebook: "Zombie Apocalypse Assault Vehicle and Troop Transport. This full armored zombie busting vehicle features convenient gun ports so no zombie juice touches you during a mass zombie take down. It also has benches in the back so you can take turns resting during long Zombie sieges. The tactical step boards are installed for when you only need swords and axes for drive by mow downs. The bumpers are made of reinforced steel tubing, so no dents from smashing zombie heads! It's full armor plated and has bullet proof windows just in case you run into other zombie hunting hordes who might try to take this bad boy from you. Like anything, there is a price attached to this fine piece of zombie fighting machinery."

It doesn't get any more bizarre than that.

The suspect:  James Lance Boulware

The lesson: never believe the first reports and be skeptical of any news stories, including this one.

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