On the Clintons and Obama:
Bill Clinton is no supernatural serial killer - faint praise to most, too generous to a few. But he does have this juggernaut-like way of getting where he wants to be. One of his special powers is superhuman passive-aggressiveness. When recently asked if Obama was qualified to be president, Clinton responded, "You can argue that nobody is ready to be president." Pressed again about Obama's qualifications to be president, Clinton explained, "I never said he wasn't qualified. The Constitution sets qualification for the president. And then the people decide who they think would be the better president."
Bill could have really added some oomph to that endorsement if he'd only been willing to concede that Obama is a carbon-based life form meeting the minimal requirements defined by scientists for sentient life.
Indeed, shocking as this may be to people naive enough to believe that a woman with no executive experience, no security clearance, no significant successes under her belt, who was catapulted to presidential prominence solely because her husband treated her like a cautionary tale in a country-music song, was nonetheless a co-president for eight years: It turns out that the Bride of Clintonstein was an awful chief executive. Infected by her husband's passive-aggressiveness, she stood paralyzed as the HMS Hillary took on more and more water, until even the string quartet on the deck was leaping for the flotation devices.
As Green pulls memo after memo from the great white's carcass like so many Florida license plates, we discover that the Clintons knew long, long ago that they couldn't beat Barack Obama to the nomination. But winning was secondary, carnage was king. You might even say of her decision to stay in the race: This was no polling accident.
But fixating on the plot is never a good idea with monster flicks. The point is that the story is always the same. And so it is this time as well. Bill and Hillary are back. And forever more, Barack Obama won't be able to take a shower without fear of that curtain snapping back, as a woman - or is that a man? - prepares to plunge the knife into his back.
Hilariously funny and horribly true.
God save America. Let us pray.