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Monday, August 09, 2021

Democrats Don't Need Masks Because They're Better Than You

 We’re still learning about COVID-19 and how it spreads, but one of its more unusual properties is that it doesn’t seem to affect people with political opinions preferred by our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in the press. It’s the first virus in the history of the world that votes Democrat.

Let’s say you’re in a crowded place with a bunch of people, and you’re worried that you might be in the middle of what has come to be known as a “superspreader event.” Well, maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. It depends. Are you attending something frivolous and stupid, like a football game or a motorcycle rally or a speech by a Republican? Or are you participating in something politically important and socially just, like a race riot?

The virus knows. It knows what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, and it only punishes people who don’t read The Atlantic or listen to NPR.

If you can recite a MyPillow ad from memory, you need to wear a mask when you’re told to wear a mask. But if you can pick Lin-Manuel Miranda out of a lineup, you don’t have anything to worry about. That’s how COVID-19 works. That’s just the settled science.

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